Every offseason, around this time, Chicago sports fans find themselves in an interesting place. Both baseball teams are gearing up for Opening Day, the Bulls are gearing up for a (low-seed) playoff push, and the Bears are gearing up for… I don’t know… mini-camp? Sigh. Bears fans aren’t hard to please. All we want is something to believe in, a reason to spend our week anxiously waiting for noon on Sunday. And this, I don’t need to tell you, all starts with acquiring the right players. However, the Bears front office continually ignores Free Agency like it’s the World Baseball Classic.

This is a strange dichotomy because, after all, Bears fans are very Bullish. And no, I don’t mean in the basketball sense. However, we do wish General Manager Jerry Angelo would use free agency like Derrick Rose uses his quick first step: to drive past the opposition on the way to the goal. But year in and year out the brain trust (or is it trust fund?) at Halas Hall creates a Bear Market that would make Wall Street blush.

Don’t get me wrong: I agree with Jerry Angelo’s formula of building a team through the draft and re-signing homegrown talent. I don’t want the Bears to play Redskins-style Trick-R-Treat, tossing stacks of cash into the bag of every big name player that rings the Halas Hall doorbell. But I also refuse to believe that Angelo and Co. can’t target a few pieces to plug holes or create depth at specific positions. After all, with the resources gathered from what could be considered the NFLs largest market (L.A. can’t keep a team and New York City has two, plus the Bills) and one of the most dedicated fan bases, the Bears have spent like they’re still in Decatur. The whole thing reads like a Discovery Channel special:

As the strong, lumbering North American Grizzly shrugs off the lingering effects of his winter hibernation, he awakens to find… No legitimate wide receivers and Brett Basanez penciled in at backup Quarterback.

The whole thing makes me want to go back to my cave and wait ‘til next year. Which, being a Sox fan, isn’t instinct. But I do see a solution that would be both practical and symbolic: Trade for disgruntled Denver Broncos Quarterback Jay Cutler.

The 25-year old Cutler threw for 4,526 yards and 25 touchdowns in his 2008 Pro-Bowl season, and he’s just now entering his prime. He would bring talent and stability to the position that the team hasn’t seen since… well, ever. Let’s be honest, the Bears have never been good at developing Quarterback talent, for whatever reason. Here’s a chance to grab a guy who’s already developed and ready to win. You add his powerful arm to compliment a rising star in Matt Forte, and you have a guy who can actually get the ball to Devin Hester on those play-action passes. Sorry, Kyle Orton, those forty-yard pass-interference penalties are nice, but let’s try to complete one, eh?

This isn’t even mentioning the fact that the Bear’s 2008 3^rd-round draft pick, Wide Receiver Earl Bennett, had his best chemistry at Vanderbilt catching passes from… you guessed it: Jay Cutler. Need more serendipity? The Bears’ last first-round draft pick, Offensive Tackle Chris Williams, also spent his career at Vanderbilt blocking for quarterbacks like Jay Cutler. How much like Jay Cutler? So much so that they actually were Jay Cutler. Still not sold? Jay Cutler was born in Santa Claus, Indiana (seriously) rooting for a certain NFL team known simply as “Daaaa Bears!” The whole thing is almost too perfect.

Come on, Jerry. Make the move. You have the draft pick flexibility, largely due to the third-round compensatory pick from losing Bernard Berrian to Free Agency. You have a solid, albeit unspectacular, quarterback in Kyle Orton to offer in exchange so they can still compete. And, finally, you have the upper hand: Cutler has demanded a trade.

Please, Jerry. In a time of so much financial turmoil, Jay Cutler’s stock is still rising. Buy it.